


if we never met

by jjhs



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Cheesy, Crying, Cuddling & Snuggling, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-03
Updated: 2020-04-03
Packaged: 2021-03-01 01:41:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,453
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23457226
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jjhs/pseuds/jjhs
Summary: mark just cries, unable to stop the tears that roll down his cheeks. one after another a salty tear stains hyuck’s tank top. mark wants to say what’s wrong, but the words never come. he doesn’t know if it's the stress, the sleep deprivation, or the overwhelming and suddenly so intense feelings for hyuck that’s causing this.or, mark breaks down and hyuck is always there for him.
Relationships: Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Mark Lee
Comments: 8
Kudos: 160
Collections: Markhyuck





	if we never met

**Author's Note:**

  * For [poise](https://archiveofourown.org/users/poise/gifts).



> hi long time no see
> 
> two songs inspired this au  
> \- if we never met by john k  
> \- me because of you by hrvy
> 
> it's 1am and i wrote this in one sitting... 
> 
> hope you enjoy

“what if we never met?” mark asks suddenly, dropping his phone on the comforter of the bed and looking at hyuck’s side profile with those big, doey eyes of his.

hyuck looks confused, not that he should be because mark likes to ask random questions. “what do you mean?”

“what if we never met,” mark repeats, though it is more of a statement than it is anything else. hyuck puts his phone down and turns onto his side to face mark.

“why?” hyuck looks so pretty. why is he so pretty? mark doesn’t know, and he doesn’t want to question it. hyuck being pretty is a staple of his life. it’s like the sun rising on the east and setting on the west. it’s like the ocean currents moving and flooding and never ending. 

mark licks his lips. “i dunno,” he purses his lips into a pout, a habit when he thinks. “i guess, it just seems like i dunno where i would be without you.”

hyuck smiles, that beautiful smile of his where his eyes turn to crescent moons. mark can’t help the grin that crosses his face. “you know,” hyuck murmurs, hands finding mark’s cheeks and caressing his cheekbones. “i wouldn’t want it any other way.”

and, mark wouldn’t either. “i know. me too.”

hyuck leans over and kisses mark’s lips, softly and sweetly. it’s a brief moment. but, even with the shortest kisses, mark feels like he’s falling in love all over again. he can’t think of a time where he wasn’t in love with hyuck. 

love and hate are one in the same. the line between the two is blurred and crossed and confused. sometimes, mark feels like he could punch donghyuck in the face. but, in the end, it’s always them. he always comes back to hyuck.

“you’re tired,” hyuck whispers, voice on the verge of cracking. mark lets his eyelids flutter closed and he scoots closer to hyuck, searching for his warmth. 

mark smiles sadly, eyes filled with tears. they’re both fucking _tired_. it comes with the job. there are very few moments of dullness. the times to just be, to sit there and just breathe are rare. but, he has this to look forward to. 

“so are you,” mark comments back, a tear rolling down his cheek.

hyuck feels it the second it lands on his bare collarbone. he pulls away and looks at mark, really looks at him. there are dark bags under his eyes, bags the make up does a good job at covering up, but are ever so prominent when the cameras are shut down and the makeup comes off. 

“mark,” hyuck mumbles, thumbs wiping the tears on mark’s cheeks away. “what’s wrong?”

mark bursts into full on sobs, cries so hard hyuck can feel it. the younger immediately sits up and pulls mark into his lap, letting him straddle his thighs and cry into his neck.

“don’t cry,” hyuck says, lips on mark’s neck. mark throws his hands around hyuck’s shoulders and buries his head into the dip of his neck. “you’re okay, baby. don’t cry.”

hyuck rubs his back, fingers tracing shapes into the bare skin out of habit. “it’s okay.”

mark just cries, unable to stop the tears that roll down his cheeks. one after another a salty tear stains hyuck’s tank top. mark wants to say what’s wrong, but the words never come. he doesn’t know if it's the stress, the sleep deprivation, or the overwhelming and suddenly so intense feelings for hyuck that’s causing this.

they sit like this until the air returns to mark’s lungs. hyuck never stops telling him how amazing he is, how wonderful he is, how lucky he is to have a boy like mark in his life. and, it hurts mark’s heart more than it warms it. it burns so bad and mark doesn’t know why, but it does.

everytime he closes his eyes, he sees what would’ve happened if they never met. if they never fell in love. what ifs and almosts and could have beens. it all flutters around his head. they’ve been through hell and back, and mark wants to believe it all happened for a reason. 

he’s been around the world so many fucking times. he’s seen the seven wonders of the world. but, nothing compares to sitting in hyuck’s arms. 

mark stops crying after a few minutes. his breathing evens out, but he’s still trembling in hyuck’s hold. he pulls his face out of the crook of hyuck’s neck and looks at the younger. 

“you-” mark cuts himself off with a hiccup. 

“take your time,” hyuck murmurs, one hand leaving mark’s back to push the hair out of his eyes. he looks so fucking good, even after crying his eyes out. 

“you taught me so much, donghyuck,” mark eventually lets out, eyes closing to keep the tears from leaving his eyes again. “and, i can’t stop thinking about losing you. about what i would be without you.”

“oh, mark,” hyuck lets out, softly licking his lips. he looks like he could cry too.

“i never, ever thought i would fall in love with you,” mark shares truthfully, “but, i’m so in love with you hyuck. and, there’s so many fucking reasons we shouldn’t be together--our jobs being the biggest one--but, here i am so, so, so incredibly in love with you.”

hyuck opens his mouth to speak, but the words never make it out in the open. 

“you showed me what love is. not the kind of love between parents and their children. not the love between friends. the kind of love that could burn the world down just to build it back up ash by ash. the kind of love that people spend every lifetime searching for. you are it for me, hyuck.”

hyuck has never heard these kinds of words from mark. he’s heard a lot of i love you’s, a lot of i would do anything for you’s. but never this. mark is speaking for the deepest part of his heart, the part that the light never sees.

“i don’t know if i believe in destiny,” mark says, right hand grabbing hyuck’s chin and holding him in place, “but, you’re sure as hell mine.”

mark leans in and kisses hyuck so passionately it almost hurts. mark tastes like tears, but hyuck licks his bottom lip nevertheless. mark takes control and hyuck just lets him. let’s mark pull away and then lean back in, tongue slipping into his mouth every so often. he lets mark kiss down his jaw, down his neck, lets him latch onto the soft skin below his left earlobe. 

mark pulls back for air and hyuck’s eyes are blown wide, cheeks rosy red, lips spit slicked and swollen. he is everything mark’s ever dreamed of. he is mark’s final destination after a long, long journey of searching. 

“let’s get out of here,” hyuck suggests with a devious smile on his face. he looks so fucking adorable, though. his hair is a mess on the top of his head. 

“okay,” mark agrees like he always does. he could never say no to hyuck. 

the two get dressed accordingly. mark throws on his own sweatshirt that smells like donghyuck from how much the younger has worn it. he slips on a pair of shoes and a beanie. donghyuck pulls one of mark’s sweatshirts over his head and decides on a pair of mark’s sweatpants too. he looks so good. mark’s heart aches.

“you ready?” hyuck asks, hand reaching for mark’s. they intertwine fingers and hyuck leads them through the dark dorm to the front door. 

they aren’t supposed to do this. but, when mark’s around donghyuck rules stop mattering so much. the no’s turn to yes’s very quickly, ups to downs, rights to wrongs. the world stops, time stops. when he’s around donghyuck, reality becomes a fantasy and every few moments, mark has to stop and blink. he has to pinch his arm and make sure it’s real.

hyuck grabs car keys from the location they’re not supposed to know about. he just grins at mark and yanks him out the front door.

“you want me to drive?” mark asks, though it’s not much of a question because he always drives. hyuck can drive, but being able to do something does not always equate to having to do it.

“nah, i got it this time,” hyuck shrugs and opens the passenger door for mark. mark stands at the open door and looks at donghyuck with raised eyebrows.

“you want to drive?”

“well, don’t sound so surprised,” hyuck scoffs. it’s the middle of the night. the stars are shining in the sky and the moon is illuminated hyuck’s face. mark likes the dark better. like’s when the moon casts a spotlight on hyuck and reminds mark that hyuck is the one.

mark wants to kiss him. so he does. he grabs onto hyuck’s hips and pulls his body close, disregarding the open car door. he kisses him sweetly, until hyuck bites on his bottom lip and mark groans. “don’t start something you can’t finish.”

hyuck drops his hands from mark’s hair, where he’d been tangling his fingers in the black locks. “get in the car, i’m driving.”

“what if you kill us,” mark tries weakly. 

“car, now.” hyuck pushes mark to the passenger seat and slaps his ass as he climbs in. mark just huffs and it makes the younger giggle. hyuck closes the door as quietly as possible to keep from waking anyone up. he runs to the drivers side and hops in.

“i really don’t think this is a goo-”

“shut up,” hyuck grumbles, vainly attempting to adjust his seat. mark stifles a laugh and hyuck sticks his middle finger up. “i don’t wanna hear it from you.”

mark just rolls his eyes and watches hyuck struggle. the younger finally settles on a chair placement and adjusts the mirror. he starts the car and puts the car in drive.

“babe,” mark says, looking at hyuck with that stupid little smile of his. “you might want to put the car in reverse to back out.”

hyuck furrows his eyebrows and looks down. “oh. right. i knew that, just testing you.”

mark just lets hyuck get away with it, too fond of the younger to say anything too mean to him. 

after a few minutes of trial and error, hyuck finally gets them out of the driveway and onto the road. mark just smiles softly and tells him good job as they start speeding down the road.

mark finally takes a moment to look at the time. it’s 2 am and he chuckles. they’re going to be fucking exhausted tomorrow, but he won’t regret a second of this. he never does. not when donghyuck is around.

they’re on a main road and mark doesn’t have to ask where they’re going. the city lights of seoul eventually fade away into the horizon and they’re on a backroad. mark smiles to himself and reaches for donghyuck’s hand. usually, mark drives one hand on the wheel and the other holding hyuck’s hand, but they both know that hyuck should always keep both hands on the wheel. 

but, as they pull to a stop, mark’s fingers find comfort in donghyuck’s as they always do. he doesn’t know if it’s out of habit or not, but his thumb begins to pet the skin on hyuck’s hand. he brings the younger’s hand to his lips and kisses his knuckles.

“c’mon,” hyuck says, a blush dusting his cheeks. “we don’t have much time.”

mark wants to tell hyuck that they have all the time in the world. in his mind, time is infinite and the world stops for them. 

instead, he stubbornly lets go of hyuck’s hand to get out of the car. hyuck already has the blankets in hand by the time they meet up at the front of the car. mark takes them from hyuck and begins the trek toward the meadow. 

it’s _their_ meadow. they found it one long night after mark learned to drive and took them out illegally for a drive. they’ve been coming here since. sometimes alone, more often than not together. it’s a great place to sit and think, to contemplate, to share hopes and dreams and love. 

they reach the outskirts of it and mark is too fucking tired to walk any further, so he spreads the three blanekts on the ground. he saves the fourth one for them to cuddle under, as always. hyuck slips off his shoes and lays in the middle of the spot mark created for them.

mark joins after a few minutes and places the blanket over them. despite the warmth from the blanket, hyuck cuddles into mark’s side to feel the older’s body heat. he nuzzles in close, so close their limbs tangle and mark can’t tell where his begin and hyuck’s end. this is his favorite part.

mark closes his eyes, just appreciating the moment. he has to appreciate this, the way the pace of life slows and he can take in as much oxygen his lungs want. he can admire his gorgeous boyfriend and kiss him on the forehead in these moments. these moments keep people alive. they’re something worth living for. something worth waking up everyday and breathing for. 

“you said i taught you so much,” hyuck mumbles into mark’s skin, fingers clutching at the older’s sweatshirt so tightly like he’s terrified of losing him, “but, you taught me so much more, mark lee. you showed me so much, gave me so much, loved me so much you put all my broken pieces back together.”

“ _love_ ,” mark corrects, cracking one eye open to look down at where hyuck’s head is resting on in his chest now, “love you so much.”

hyuck snorts fondly. “i’m only me because of you.”

mark licks his lips. “no, hyuck, you’re you because of you. you’re you because you grew into this person after everything we’ve been through. all the training, all the pain, all the hate. you’re you because you’re the strongest person i’ve ever met.”

there is an instant where the only sounds that are heard are mark’s chest breathing in and out and the wind in the distance blowing the trees around. finally, hyuck says something, “you’re mine too.”

“what?” mark asks, fingers intertwining with hyuck’s.

“you said i was your destiny. and, you’re mine too, mark.”

mark smiles, eyes droopy and heart beating so wildly he thinks hyuck can probably feel it. “i’m glad.”

“i’m glad it’s you,” hyuck states, so honest and vulnerable, heart out so openly on his sleeve, “so fucking glad.”

**Author's Note:**

> for clarification, mark started to cry because he was scared of losing hyuck. it was like when you work yourself into that place where you can't stop all the thoughts from spiraling. 
> 
> hope you enjoyed it!!! please comment/leave a kudos. it always means a lot to me.
> 
> stay safe. wash your hands. sleep. eat. drink. all that.
> 
> with love, liv 
> 
> [twit](https://twitter.com/flirtmarkno)
> 
> [curious cat](https://curiouscat.me/marknorens)


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